When you start your Motherhood journey, everyone is quick to give advice on the immediate journey - breastfeeding, sleep training, bassinets, cribs, Co-sleeping, not co-sleeping, and then eventually the yada-yada-yada ends, and you're left to navigate the white rapids of motherhood on your own.
What no one talks about is the constant battle of the working Mom guilt! 2 years since returning to work, it is still a daily battle.
Let's Be Honest - It won't end
The eight hours you are at work are important for you, but it is hard to separate how important those eight hours would be with your little at home, too. Not to mention all of the stress from home that I bring to my business, and the stress, anxiety, emotional distress that my business brings home with me. Am I choosing business over my baby? Does that make me a bad mom? It is a never ending tornado of guilt. The good news is - the fact that you're reading this and thinking about these feelings is proof that you're the best mom for your little.
Here's How I Justify Working:
8 Hours with other care is important for growth of your child. This one was the hardest for me - how could being in someone else's care POSSIBLY be good for my child? It's the differences in cultures, schedules, communication styles. It's the socialism mine gets from a larger daycare center, and all of the different personalities our little gets exposure too. We're learning and growing every time we meet someone who is different than us. Plus - my little brings home fun new skills every week that she wouldn't have learned in our home (Cars go 'Beet Beet')!
Here's How I Make the Most of my Hours:
Leave the office at the office. This isn't always easy for career-driven individuals, and it isn't always realistic. I don't own my business from 8-5, I own my business every day, every night. BUT what I do is limit business-related table talk at dinner, and make it a point to discuss family items (bonus - an opportunity to stay connected with your husband, too).
Where late hours exist, complete them after the little's go to bed. I often have work, investigating, research or books to read related to my business, that just doesn't fit into the daily operation. I make a strong effort to ensure that this doesn't interfere with the very limited time I get with my little on a week-night. I will carve out the two hours of home time between daycare pick up and bed-time and focus on our family requirements, and pick my business needs back up at 8 PM. Not only does this fill my mama cup, but a couple-hour break makes even one hour of work that much more productive and focused.
Commit to me-time too. Yes, we need to handle our professional lives, engage with our children, keep connected to our spouses and keep our homes together, AND find me-time. But hear me out - this keeps me from my natural state of insanity. I plan week-nights, where after bed-time I simply do not allow myself to work, I watch a mindless show, read a book for pleasure or pinterest my dream home decor. Even 30 minutes of recoup time can refresh me, and send me into the next day ready to conquer all of the things again!
Give and Take - there are days where I just can't leave the office, or my home life fills my mind (like it is right now as I sit at my desk and write about all of this guilt I have). On the days where my home life takes over, I choose tasks (with in reason) that are tangible at work, and take a few work day breaks to handle my home life. Vice Versa, on days I simply can't leave the office, I take it home and complete it, or swap nights with my Husband and have him take over for a few extra hours.
Moral of the Story
It's tme to stop the Mom Guilt. Because there are so many things to judge yourself for and rip yourself apart about, and enjoying your professional life as much as your personal isn't one of those things. Regardless of your career status, there is no need for an apology. Embrace the personal growth it gives you, and recognize that it isn't separate from being a Mama, it is an important part of Motherhood.
You got this, Mama.
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